A new job

People have to kind of find their own level, hack their own way through the jungle, and in that respect we've mostly turned out okay.
~ Justin Cartwright, Leading the Cheers

Finally I am off the pills, but my back is still rather tight and I suppose it will get better after quite some time. I hope that I will get some good advice what to do to heal it completely later this week at the physiotherapy.

I start it the same day as my new job. Yes, a new job, finally! Although I will be able to keep it only by the end of this year, it is as precious as pure gold. I know already that I will work very hard and that the job will not be really for my liking, but at least I won't have to think every day if I earned enough money with the guided tours to pay my bills. It comforts me a bit that I will be still able to work as a guide in my free time.

Cold months of the year are ahead of us and I am glad that at last my life will get the rythm I so long wished for. But first of all I will have to take care of my health. This means a lot of all sorts of recreation, not just hiking to the mountains from time to time.

Yes, my precious mountains ... it's hard to tell how much I miss them. This mountain season is unfortunatelly over for me ... but it seems like the weather is on my side, at least for now (in the picture which I took yesterday on my short walk are flooded meadow and field --- we will get another "shipment" of rain today and tomorrow).

A week in a hospital

Accept the place the divine providence has found for you.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Things are not always as we want them to be, and sometimes sudden events completely change our lives. I am still not aware of how much my life will change after one single wrong move, but I do know that life will be a little bit different from now on.

It was Thursday, 24th August, when I was helping my mom in the garden. She is not as fit anymore as she used to be (oh, neither am I), so I picked a bag full of vegetables to carry it to her car. One wrong move caused a strong pain in my back. Less than an hour later I was lying on the floor in front of my bed, not able to move. Ž couldn't pick me up or help me any other way, the pain was just too strong. I called an ambulance, what else could I do? A doctor came, gave me some pills which didn't help at all.

The next morning I called an ambulance again and they drove me to the hospital. The pain was unbearable. Lots of doctors came to see me, nobody knew what was wrong with me. I was lying there for hours, painkillers slowly leaking into my veins, but they didn't help at all. In the evening I was finally accepted into the hospital to stay there overnight. Or, better said, to stay there for another week.

Time went slowly or fast, it depended on a day, besides I was lucky that two women in the same room were a pleasant company during the first three days. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we were just alone with our own thoughts. It is amazing, how life slows down and nothing else but ourselves matters.

Further examinations showed that my back did not suffer any major injuries and it will, luckily, heal over time. All I need now is a lot of rest and most of all, a lot of exercise. Yes, I know, my laziness brought me all the way to this.

My head is dizzy of all the medicaments that I am taking right now, but hopefully by the end of this week I will stop taking them completely. Life slowed down, and I am grateful for this. Oh, so grateful! And I am grateful to all those nurses and doctors (females and males) who took care of me during those long days and nights, sometimes also with humour when nothing else helped. Thank you!

Memories

I found out when troubles with health have begun that I need to change my lifestyle. I've been nervous, sad, angry and worried for too long. After seven years or so I joined gym classes again. I might be walking ten hours straight or do more push-ups than other girls but my motor skills are at zero. I stopped drinking milk for a while and I keep trying to eat more fruit and vegetables. Actually I used to live on milk and sweets and cereals. I slowed down a bit, doing things I like to do. It was scary to find out that my life is too stressful and that my nervous system stopped functioning as it should. In a way this happened when I said: "I can't live like that anymore." And with these words my body gave up.When I was in mountains for the last time this year I realized that I wouldn't mind if snow fell there. I had to slow down, I had to solve the problems I had at home. Soon after that I found a book in my library, almost 80 years old, in which Josip Wester, a teacher, is describing his hikes in our mountains. I had tears in my eyes when I read some paragraphs. It is an amazing book, full of historical events and sometimes also names. I felt enormous peace when I was slowly turning the pages of this book. I didn't need to go up there to feel at peace.

So, this is just a beginning. If I won't listen to my body and soul I might get seriously ill. Hopefully my heartbeat will get normal soon. In fact all I need is lots of love and care at the moment. Then life won't look so dark and hopeless. Because I know that it is not.