Summer reading

At a certain age all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life? ~ Fredrik Backman

I've read a couple of books this summer which I could easily put on "my favorites" list. One of them was Britt-Marie was here by Fredrik Backman and the other one was Leading the cheers by Justin Cartwright. Both of them are in a way connected with what I feel right now, with how I live at the moment. They made me think of what I should really do with my life. Because things have to change, no matter how good my life looks from someone else's perspective.

A human being, any human being at all, has so perishingly few chances to stay right there, to let go of time and fall into the moment. And to love someone without measure. Explode with passion. ~ Fredrik Backman

Did you ever love anyone without measure? I was lucky enough that I did.

Three nice things

I asked Ž yesterday in the evening what were the three nice things that happened to him that day. Answers were simple as life can be if we don't complicate too much:
- the sun was shining,
- your freshly baked bread was delicious,
- lying in bed right now feels good.

Ž is a simple man, indeed.

Knitting

It is one of those special days today that mark an event which happened once in the past. I wonder what kind of life I would have if I acted differently on the same day eight years ago. I was a firm believer then that life would be wonderful and much better than ever before. Yes, I am a big dreamer and my daydreams usually don't come true. Though, I should not complain about my life, I made it like it is. I had (and have) choices. I am still pondering whether to stay on this path I am on or not. Is it worth making steps on it or not?

The Universe is not giving me any answers; or is it just that I don't (want to) see them clearly enough? In some way we need a huge courage to step off one path and follow another. I don't have it. Lost it. Hopefully not forever.

So, it took me a few hours to knit a hat I gave Ž today as a gift. I was making it with quite big needles (no. 4), and when Ž tried it this morning we decided that it will need a few changes. I will have to make it a little bit smaller. Now I am thinking whether to make a completely new one or just unravel a few lines.

Let me end this post with some positive thoughts. My life is slowly getting better although I do cry sometimes and feel sorry for myself. Courage, yes, courage is what I need right now, and lots and lots and lots of positive thinking. It helps. Simple mantras do help when negative thoughts sneak into my head. And that blue sky and sunshine that we've been bathing in for some days add to this too. Life is beautiful, you know.

P.s.: The hat is made of pure wool, and its color is indeed green although it looks like it is gray or even blue. I found a pattern on DROPS's web site.

Flamenco

I read in a newspaper that my aunt would be dancing too. Then I read a few more pages of Kate Mosse's Tomb, and a few minutes before noon drove to the city center. I was surprised because it was so alive there. Lots of booths with all sorts of things, and lots of people. And music! I didn't see her dance, this aunt of mine, but I felt the passion of the music when other girls were dancing. I just wonder: where were all the men? Then I noticed her. One of the women was especially beautiful, so natural, so true. And she was dancing most passionately of them all, like if telling others: just relax, steps don't matter so much. She was the only one wearing yellow rope shoes and wearing light summer dress. Real passion, I tell you.

Life is good

These days I've been:

:: tasting the tomatoes which are ripening at great speed these days, and of course, rejoicing at the abundance of vegetables our garden provides for us at the moment.

:: riding my mountain bike a lot, whether it is a longer ride to the top of the nearest hill or just a quick ride around the house.

:: playing the guitar whenever I can. My fingers are toughening and the tunes I play are beginning to sound nice. Though, I still have so much to learn...

:: listening to Jack Johnson's songs, being inspired by his singing and playing.

:: looking at the blue sky and fluffy cumulus clouds on (lately) rare sunny days of this summer. It is a joy to put on my summer dresses whenever it is warm enough.

:: learning about the dragonflies by visiting a creek nearby and flipping through the pages of a book on dragonflies.

:: helping a colleague to ring hundreds of barn swallows. It is amazing to see huge flocks of swallows gathering in the evening above their roosting place.

:: reading Soule Mama’s blog over and over again, finding comfort in her words when I am lonely and despaired.

And of course I still spend 8 hours at work from Monday to Friday.

* This post was inspired by Soule Mama blog.

Resting

Today, you are inclined to use your mind for leisure pursuits, such as reading for amusement, going to an art exhibit or concert or chatting with friends. Even though these activities seem somewhat trivial, they are an important part of your life, because they give you a chance to rest between heavier concerns.

~ Transit in my astro chart for tomorrow ~

I could not better describe what I've been doing lately in my life. Well, if doing almost nothing and reading is an amusement. Each day before going to bed I read a few pages of Thirteen moons by Charles Frazier. I bought the book some time ago and it was left on a shelf until recently, when I read Cold Mountain by the same author. I like his kind of writing. When the story gets boring, he changes tracks. Exactly the way our lives should be. Although we sometimes simply forget that.

I have to admit that I am waiting for spring to come. This doesn't mean that I don't do anything at all but life has somehow slowed down. And I like it. I am a bit lazy writing posts for my blog, I am sure you have noticed that. Don't worry, I am sure I will have lots to share in the next few months. After all, it is time when we make plans for planting and sowing, for cleaning and renovating, for changing winter coats and sweaters for summer skirts and dresses. Oh, I am so much looking forward to the months to come!

P.s.: On the photo it is me with my mom on Shrove Tuesday. :)