So, this is just a beginning. If I won't listen to my body and soul I might get seriously ill. Hopefully my heartbeat will get normal soon. In fact all I need is lots of love and care at the moment. Then life won't look so dark and hopeless. Because I know that it is not.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I found out when troubles with health have begun that I need to change my lifestyle. I've been nervous, sad, angry and worried for too long. After seven years or so I joined gym classes again. I might be walking ten hours straight or do more push-ups than other girls but my motor skills are at zero. I stopped drinking milk for a while and I keep trying to eat more fruit and vegetables. Actually I used to live on milk and sweets and cereals. I slowed down a bit, doing things I like to do. It was scary to find out that my life is too stressful and that my nervous system stopped functioning as it should. In a way this happened when I said: "I can't live like that anymore." And with these words my body gave up.When I was in mountains for the last time this year I realized that I wouldn't mind if snow fell there. I had to slow down, I had to solve the problems I had at home. Soon after that I found a book in my library, almost 80 years old, in which Josip Wester, a teacher, is describing his hikes in our mountains. I had tears in my eyes when I read some paragraphs. It is an amazing book, full of historical events and sometimes also names. I felt enormous peace when I was slowly turning the pages of this book. I didn't need to go up there to feel at peace.