Wednesday, January 11, 2012


It is one of those special days today that mark an event which happened once in the past. I wonder what kind of life I would have if I acted differently on the same day eight years ago. I was a firm believer then that life would be wonderful and much better than ever before. Yes, I am a big dreamer and my daydreams usually don't come true. Though, I should not complain about my life, I made it like it is. I had (and have) choices. I am still pondering whether to stay on this path I am on or not. Is it worth making steps on it or not?

The Universe is not giving me any answers; or is it just that I don't (want to) see them clearly enough? In some way we need a huge courage to step off one path and follow another. I don't have it. Lost it. Hopefully not forever.

So, it took me a few hours to knit a hat I gave Ž today as a gift. I was making it with quite big needles (no. 4), and when Ž tried it this morning we decided that it will need a few changes. I will have to make it a little bit smaller. Now I am thinking whether to make a completely new one or just unravel a few lines.

Let me end this post with some positive thoughts. My life is slowly getting better although I do cry sometimes and feel sorry for myself. Courage, yes, courage is what I need right now, and lots and lots and lots of positive thinking. It helps. Simple mantras do help when negative thoughts sneak into my head. And that blue sky and sunshine that we've been bathing in for some days add to this too. Life is beautiful, you know.

P.s.: The hat is made of pure wool, and its color is indeed green although it looks like it is gray or even blue. I found a pattern on DROPS's web site.


Maja said...

Nisi izgubila poti, samo vidiš je ne, ker želiš nekaj takega, kot si bila vajena oz. si želiš. Modrost tudi ni v iskanju, ki človeka izčrpuje, ampak v sprejemanju; ko sprejmeš, vidiš tudi pot, na kateri pravzaprav stojiš, pa si le okupiran s podobo tiste Poti, da one pod stopali ne vidiš.

Zame je bilo leto 2011 leto čistilnih akcij. Ko spucaš, kar se je nabralo, uzreš tudi pot. No, ali pa stezico, tudi tista je lepa. Če se ne počutiš ok, ni ok vztrajati v sedanjem trenutku, kakršen je.

Pina said...

Prav imaš, Maja. Ampak za to, da spucaš stvari, rabiš veliko poguma in energije. Jaz ju ta trenutek ne zmorem potegniti iz sebe...

V bistvu pa se zadnje čase vračam na svoje stare, res stare poti. Prijetne so in rada jih imam. Divjanje ni zame, družba ljudi samo v omejenih količinah. Navsezadnje tudi po resničnih (hribovskih) poteh hodim počasi in uživam v razgledu. :)

Emily said...

A lovely hat and lovely words, Pina. I have lost my path too but we just have to keep wandering along somehow, I guess, and find what we find x

Vanja said...

Life is beautiful. :)I wish you all the best. :)

Pina said...

Hvala, Vanja, želim enako.