Last year

I actually don't have a good reason for being quiet for so long in this space, as in fact many things happened during this year while “I was gone”. It’s true that I am a little bit tired of being unemployed for such a long time; this somehow takes a toll of the soul. I have never lived with less, but somehow life isn’t as bad as it could be. I can just keep my fingers crossed that it won’t get worse. To tell the truth, I have asked myself many times in the last months: "What is the meaning of my life?"

Triglav, our highest mountain, from the hill above the Ljubljana Marshes.

2015 was a year of many changes. I became a local tourist guide, although I will start guiding tourists in Ljubljana no sooner than in spring this year. But … I guided quite many school groups around the Ljubljana Marshes, met many new people, found some new friends, learned lots (and lots and lots) of new things, shared my knowledge with others. I could say that it was a year of communication and lots of new people in my life. I am turning my back to those who don’t need me and I am embracing those who do.

I know that 2016 will be a busy year. That’s why I am so grateful for the peaceful days at the moment and I try to spend them where I’m always happy – above the clouds with the view on the mountains. 

Knowledge is power

It was creative, this year of 2011. In a way it was full of new things. I have learned how to play a few chords on a guitar and how to make lace. I planted seeds and brought in the harvest.

But also it was a restless and wild year. I was to places far away and also not so very far from where I live. I stood on top of many peaks and saw wonderful things on my paths. I was away from home too many times. I chose it so because in a long run this brought peace to my heart and soul. It was a good year although I know life can be much better (and much more pleasant) than it is. I never make any resolutions at this time of year. Why should I? I have no great expectations for 2012, only wishes.

We gathered together with closest neighbors at the beginning of this year, too. I wished them a year full of fairy-tales, a year in which pumpkins would turn into delicious food. It is funny that we all wished each other a good harvest. No wonder because our gardens connect us more than anything else.

I also received one strange wish from a friend - that this year would bring me only a little bit of misery and unhappiness. I think that we shouldn't wish something like this to each other. Bad times come anyway.

So, let a word for 2012 be colorful. I hope it will be like that, and also full of love and peace.

Knit knit

My blog has become rather boring these days... I am trying to rest a bit, past year has been very stressful. Although I should probably take a long vacation and go away from it all. Away from my life here, away from the people I know. But... not yet. I have piles of papers to sort and a load of projects to accomplish at work before I start my vacation. Maybe in spring then. (Sorry, I had to remove one of the photos...)

It's been cold these past days, so lately I've been thinking a lot about knitting. Not that my sock has become a sock... Judge yourself: Lucky me that I came across the Revelry site, now I just need some time to find the right pattern and time to knit. It is addictive, I tell you... This is also my new book about knitting:So, 2011. I spent the last days of 2010 in a company of people who all feel that things in their lives have to change. Me included. So, my word for 2011 is creative. 2010 was sort of a copy of 2009, and believe me that I do not want another year like that. I have changed a lot during this time, but obviously this is not it. I just wonder, what should I do? Because I, let's say so, lost all hope. Just be?

Happy New year!

It has come! I already like it. :) Whatever happens, it will be good. It will be a year of great changes, there's no doubt about it. My word for 2010 is hope. No matter how it hurts today, there's always hope that tomorrow will be a better day.I hope it will be a good year for all of us, for you and me.

Let it come!

I am behind the screen today, but just for a few short hours. I am off to the other part of Slovenia, joining a party in the evening.This year has been the hardest year in my life, and I do hope each and every one of those that are yet to come will be much much better. I have learned that I can endure enormous pain in my heart and soul, but this is not how life is supposed to be. I can describe this year with one word: pain. I will think over this weekend, how should I name the next one.

When I look myself into a mirror, I can see much older person than I was a year ago. It shows on my face that it wasn't easy. But this is what I have chosen. It was my own decision to go through this. Though I have always hoped that a new day will bring relief by itself. It didn't. Never, not for a single day. But we always hope, don't we?

I have plans for the future. Almost the same as one year ago, I guess. I am grateful to all of you still reading this blog for all the comforting words and support. They meant a lot to me, when life wasn't easy. I hope to see you around next year, too! Enjoy this evening!

Let it come, 2010!

Tired

As the end of this year is approaching, I feel more and more tired. Of life. Days are full of events and there's no time to relax. I feel that I need a break from all this. I need a break from this year. I have never felt so exhausted, and none of the years was so painful for my heart and soul as the one which will soon be over. For good. I am looking forward to 2010, though I am aware that things will not always go smoothly in my life.

I spent a nice weekend, but days were stressful as never before. I baked cookies on Thursday and they were a hit on Friday when there was a gathering of our members. It is nice to make people happy and share the recipes. I have no photos to show you; tired as I am, I hardly take photos of anything. Now I know - when I don't take photos, then I need a vacation. But there are still some days I have to spend at work...

I have to admit that tears were running down my cheeks on Saturday when I was watching a short movie about our mountains and birds that live there. I miss summer. But let me rejoice over the snow that is falling on our land right now. It is time to find the sledges, time to dance among the snowflakes falling from the sky. I love walking in the snow at night, under the city lights. It is so peaceful then. It is interesting that it doesn't feel like holiday time at all.

Hope

Do you know a woman on this picture:She loved flying even more than I do, she had courage I can only dream of. She died a few weeks before her 40th birthday, and 4 million $ (today this would be 60 million $) were spent to find her. Most probably that she was eaten by fish. A heroine. I felt like flying reading about her life yesterday, feeling that I will be finally able to accomplish things that I wrote on my to-do list months ago.

The news is good, and thank you so much for keeping fingers crossed. It helped! The wound hasn't healed yet, but hopefully all will be well soon. Though, I am not finished with visiting men in white. Late in the afternoon I was smiling a lot, doctor giving me some news of hope. I also received some good news from my dear friend at the same time, so there was one reason more to be in a good mood. All is well, and life is good.When I was lying in bed, flipping through the pages of my bellowed Mein schöner Garten magazine, inspiration came back to me. A need to create came back. I felt that hope was coming back into my soul, finally, after so many months. I've read on many blogs lately that we get what we need. We can always hope that we get nice things in life, like health, love and friends.

Have a lovely day, and let your hopes come true!

Beaten by life

When life hit me for the first time, I said: »It happens.« When it came upon me for the second time, I asked: »Why?« The third blow came from a different corner, quite unsuspected. I said: »This is a result of my previous actions, of my previous life, this is what I brought upon myself by being who I was.« I was struggling hard to survive the pain that blow had brought with it. Then life suddenly seemed to be getting back on tracks; and then came one more slap, directly into my face. I screamed: »What have I done to deserve this?«

All this happened in less than two years. I stand here, waiting for more blows to come. I fear the future, but I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I hadn't at least tried to do what I did, and what I am still going to do. Though I think that in one year's time luck will knock on my door and I am sure that by the next autumn things will find their place in my life. And all will be good again. I am looking forward to 2010, because last two years have been the worst years of my whole life.

When I was a little girl, my dad often spanked me because I was stubborn. I tell you, never spank or beat a child for being stubborn, because it doesn't help. What I really needed was comfort and love, and exactly this I kept searching for my whole life. Instead of being a fully grown up person at twenty, I was still a little girl, searching for love, most of the time at a wrong place. And I was still stubborn. Spanking didn't help, what changed me were all those blows by life that I was writing about at the beginning of this post. I became humble, quiet and friendly. I try to do good things in life, avoiding my own ego to come out. I say yes when I feel that I would rather sit in an armchair reading a book; and I go out instead of staying at home. I think before I say something bad in anger because I know that eventually truth will find its way. It is still a long way to go, but I really think that I don't deserve such blows again. I ask for mercy.

So, that's why there has been no word from me for such a long time. I was resting at home, wishing I could clean up the house, plant the flowers, go out, or at least surf the Internet. I haven't taken any photos all this time, but nevertheless, I think that you can await some nice and happy posts in the future. Right here. Because life is still beautiful, as well as is this day. Though, I admit, I haven't got any vital spirits left.

But, I am still a little stubborn, don't you think so? :)

Life

Another year has passed and again the pupils of the secondary schools gathered in the city center of Ljubljana to dance the quadrille. Again I had tears in my eyes when I watched them, and again I wished I was a part of all that. It was wonderful to see them all, full of life and joy and energy. That's what I long for. That's what I would need in my life right now. Life. Energy. Youth. Dance. There were more than 6000 of them, smiling, laughing, having fun. Dancing. Holding hands. They broke the world record again. This is my 400th post. I have nothing to give away to you, except all my love. I am in no mood for creating but I hope that you all understand me.

I will be counting the birds this weekend with a bunch of my colleagues. I am sure we will have a wonderful time. We might not be dancing, but who knows? Happy weekend everyone!

Calendar

I know, most calendars have already been designed and printed. But not mine. I started to make one at the beginning of this year and found it half done among my files last week. Photos are nice but the layout will have to be changed a bit. I like big numbers on calendars because mainly I use them when planning future events. At the same time pictures have to be nice too. I used photos of plants again but not only Alpine flowers. Calendar will be finished once in December when I will add the final photo of that month.
Sometimes I wonder with how many different, and sometimes so useless things I fill my days. :)

2008

I am back from my short 'no-computer' break. I have lots to share with you, more photos than stories. First I checked some blogs I usually visit and I came upon Leslie's blog and her idea to chose a word which reflects last and this year. I chose endeavor for 2007 and freedom for 2008. Which two words would you chose to describe these two years?
I really hope that 2008 will bring some freedom and more determination to do the things which are on my wish list. I see it as a bright year but I am fully aware that nothing will be possible without at least a bit of effort. I hope it will be a good year for you, too.