Thursday, March 26, 2009

Old notes

If you don't go, you don't have a story.

Usually, when I have to heal my heart and soul, I take the book called Planets in Transit by Robert Hand from my bookshelf and I "look into my stars". This is not only a book in which you are able to find the descriptions of the planet transits, among the lines one is able to find the stimulative words of wisdom, too - don't give up, you will make it, soon; all this is necessary to happen in order to live a happy life after that.

This book was a great consolation for me in 2003 when I split up with B. Yesterday when I took this book into my hands again, I found in it the old leaflets I wrote that year. Tears were running down my cheeks when I remembered how hard it was; and yet it was wonderful, too. It was a great year; if only the pain wasn't tearing apart my heart and soul. One of the leaflets has the date of my birthday on it. What a treasure I found! It was a bright, sunny day, never before and never after the weather was so beautiful on my birthday. I lived in Kranjska Gora then, so around noon that day I took a ride by my bicycle up on the pass called Vršič. 1611 m high, 24 bends and for me about 800 m of difference in height and 12 km to go. I needed 1:16h to the top, I took care that my pulse was around 150 beats/minute all the time, my average speed (up&down) was 22,80 km/h, I needed for the whole ride 1:45h and my maximum speed downhill was 60,7 km/h! What a ride it was!

On the top of the pass I felt that I could embrace the whole world; I spoke to the people and I even invited one of them, a complete stranger, for a birthday cake. I loved the world in that moment and I felt that everything would be all right one day. I was happy. My day ended in tears and I felt unhappy as never before. But that's another story.

On the race in September, after a week of sudden illness, I needed 1:08h up that pass, I crossed the finish line only 3 minutes after my dad and less than 15 minutes after the first woman. Not bad. Cycling is another therapy that I use for healing the broken heart or similar stress situations. Though I hope that this year I will be riding my bike again for a different reason - to win the Vršič pass again for the sake of such a great memory that I shared with you today. I will never be that fast again but this doesn't really matter.

P.s.: You too can look into your stars if you wish, visiting this web site - click (under free horoscopes).