Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Free falling or the Pooh's way

By the time it came to the edge of the Forest the stream had grown up, so that it was almost a river, and, being grown-up, it did not run and jump and sparkle along as it used to do when it was younger, but moved more slowly. For it knew now where it was going, and it said to itself: "There is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

~The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff~

I am slowly getting to the point when I will let things happen naturally. I have been struggling for more than four long months to do it my way, because this is how I thought I would have changed something. But life doesn't work this way. Besides, it is not easy to let things just go with a flow with a broken heart and a little bit of hope at the back of my mind, but I will try to do so in the future. I am learning, slowly, how to live a better life. If I forget this, do remind me, please, that I am on the wrong path. It seems that I am walking the same one the second time. I hope there will be no third time on the same road again.

From the same book, the same chapter, I borrowed the next quotation, that I hope to follow in the future:

"Tao does not do, but nothing is not done. ... It means that Tao doesn't force or interfere with things, but lets them work in their own way, to produce results naturally. Then whatever needs to be done is done."

I have already learned all this from my dear friend. I think that she has found me through my blog because that almighty power up there knows that I would not have been able to go through these past few months on my own this time. She is one of the wisest people I know.

In the last few months I have become like the river that I was writing at the beginning of today's post. I used to run, jump and sparkle; I very well remember who I was. I thought that things and people should have come to me, but I have learned that it is not always so. I have to reach out to them sometimes. I have to go with the flow, without struggling and trying to have it my way by all means. I have to be kind to people and smile more. I should not complain but change things myself if I don't like them. Other people won't do this for me. All this doesn't mean that it doesn't sparkle around me, but I have found some kind of peace in myself. If I have to lose a man because of who I was and who I am, then let it happen. I just can't struggle and fight anymore if I want to survive all this. If I am supposed to shed tears because of this, then I know that I will have your shoulders to lean on. Always.

What does have free falling to do with all this? Of course you crash if you are too high and you jump from there, but usually there is something that helps us to have a soft landing after the jump. A parachute. Yesterday I have received a gift for my birthday from my best friend. A parachute jump. I love flying, I love air. Maybe that's why I love going up to the mountains so much, maybe that's why open (but dry) spaces are so dear to me. The prairies, the steppes. Actually that free falling reminds me of a river. Sparkles at the beginning and soft landing at the end. At least I hope so. :)


Feronia said...

You certainly have my shoulder to lean on, Pina :) I know very well the journey you are on - I am on it myself. Keeping going on the path when the way is unclear - it's hard. A little quote from the Dalai Lama for you: "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
Hugs :)

Pina said...

Thank you, Emily. :) I hope that we come to an end of this journey soon, and start a new, better one.